Wednesday, May 19, 2010

God Had a Plan
Thoughts on Being First

Recent events in this journey of life have me reflecting on family a lot. Often, it seems, there are things I want to do – things I ought to do – things I could do – but all get pushed aside when family issues become critically important. It’s then that I realize it’s all about choices, and family comes first.

When our children were babies, my husband and I made the decision that I would be a “stay-at-home” mom, and we have valued that decision – even in financially stressful times when it might have seemed that the right thing for me to do was get a job. We got through those times, and our boys are all grown up. Now often we miss the little people they once were, but we have no regrets, and we are so proud of the wonderful young men they have become.

Recently I have so appreciated having the time and being able to do some things that I believe are within the range of talents the Lord has given me. Yet, even now, I find that I have to work at keeping the appropriate balance in the different areas of my life. I am still a homemaker, although I no longer have to change diapers or drive to sports practice. I find usually that with a bit of creative scheduling, I can fit in the things that I don’t have to do, but I truly want to do – such as blogging.

But then there are the times, such as now, when all such scheduling pretty much goes right out the window, and survival mode kicks in. Having the time to get the laundry done and the meals cooked feels like a luxury. Now, much of my time is spent just sitting, watching my own mother as she stares at pictures on the wall of her grandsons, and tries to remember who they are. Or, watching as she tries to follow along with the activity director who is helping her create a special craft. My simply being there, smiling and nodding at her, telling her the craft is pretty, holding her hand – seems to make her happy, even though at times she introduces me as her sister.

I confess, I sometimes worry that the time will never be there to do the things I want to do – even the very things I have come to believe the Lord wants me to do – because of the other things I also want to do and believe the Lord wants me to do. I am not only praying for patience, but thanking Him for the patience He has already given me, and putting it into practice in my obedience which is by faith. I can only do each day so much, and so I have to trust Him with all of this. So, once again, I am putting family first, and in so doing, I keep the Lord first in my life.

1 Timothy 5: 4 but if any widow has children or grandchildren, they must first learn to practice piety in regard to their own family and to make some return to their parents; for this is acceptable in the sight of God.

… and verse 8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Job 42:1-2 Then Job answered the LORD and said, "I know that You can do all things, And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.


1 comment:

Laury said...

Oh Sherri, so sorry to hear about your mom. I can't imagine how hard that is for all of you.

Balance seems to be the theme for the year. It's so hard to achieve. Praying for you. Thanks for sharing a piece of your life with us.