Thursday, January 13, 2011
Welcome to Fiction Friday! I haven't been joining in the fun in quite awhile, but hey, today I'm hosting, so here I am! If you are participating today with your own fiction, you'll find the Mclinky following the story.
This is the first new fiction I have written lately, and it wasn't at all what I would have chosen to write just for fun, but I felt the Lord nudging me about it...
Looking out over the snow-covered field, Marcy let her eyes rest for a moment on the snowy branches of a pine tree. A tiny bird, a junco, hopped from branch to branch, dislodging some of the white powdery crystals. She wondered how the little birds ever found enough to eat in the frigid terrain. It hadn’t yet warmed up enough to melt the powder into slush, and she wondered how long it would be before the weather would finally restore the winter white to the usual winter brown. The green of spring was surely a long way off. She wondered, too, how long it would take for the cold in her heart to melt away.
The doctor had told her to expect a certain amount of depression, that was normal following the procedure. But would it ever really go away? Would she ever really not feel any sense of guilt over what she had done? She had been reassured that she should not feel guilty, that it was not reasonable to think she had to be responsible for the life of the baby she didn’t want. It had all been just a mistake, she hadn’t planned on being pregnant, and she certainly hadn’t wanted to let her whole life be turned upside down. But wasn’t that the way it felt now, anyway?
Marcy turned away from the window with a dismal sigh and sat down on the sofa. She had thought she might catch up on some reading, but she couldn’t seem to get past reading the first few pages of any book she picked up. The magazines didn’t hold her interest either, they were so full of advertisements that even the articles seemed to screech, “Buy, buy, buy!” That thought brought up an unnerving memory of the doctor. He’d said all the right words, to be sure. It was not her fault, and it was really just a simple procedure, and everything would be okay. And yet, she couldn’t shake the impression he’d left her with. For him, was it really nothing more than money, a mere business transaction? “Buy, buy, buy…” Somehow she was beginning to wish she hadn’t. She eyed her cell phone on the coffee table and thought again about calling her sister.
Amy lifted her cell phone only to put it back down for what must have been the tenth time that morning. I should call her, she said to herself. I can’t call her, she doesn’t want to talk to me. I asked her to please call me before she made any choices after seeing that doctor. She hasn’t called. I can’t force her. “Lord, please help her, if it’s not too late, to choose to let that child live. Lord, is it too late? It’s been over a week now and I haven’t heard a thing. If it is too late, what do you want me to say? Condemning her, making her feel worse than she surely already does won’t help. But neither will ignoring it and treating her as if she’s just had nothing more than a tooth removed. Lord, I don’t know what You want me to do. Lord, please help me, and most of all, please help Marcy.”
Marcy stepped out of the house and started down the walk to the mailbox. She stopped in a bit of surprise as she heard the trickle of melting snow flowing steadily through the rain gutters. There had been snow on top of snow for what seemed like such a long time. But today the sunshine was different and she knew spring was finally coming. She stood still for a moment, letting the sun warm her face. Looking at the snow from inside the house had made her get her jacket even for such a short walk, but she knew now it could have been left inside. The warmth of the sun seemed to penetrate her being. She proceeded slowly down the walk, wishing she had more excuse to be outside than just fetching the mail.
As she sorted through the few items on the way back inside, she stopped again, this time to open an envelope. It was from a lady she had met in a Bible study she had recently started attending. Inside the envelope she found a greeting card with a pretty flower on the outside and a simple greeting on the inside, Welcome to our little group, we are so glad you have found us! Be blessed today! Amy had invited her to come to the group, assuring her that she would fit in just fine. She had been right, they had all made her feel welcome and even cared about.
Although for such a long time Marcy had resisted Amy’s efforts to talk to her about God, she had finally come to the conclusion that if indeed He was real, and Jesus was real, then it was time for her to receive forgiveness, just as Amy had said. Amy had been right about a lot of things, and the most important thing was that the only thing to do with guilt was to bring it to the cross and leave it there. All her efforts to reassure herself and reason the guilt away had done nothing to dislodge it. But leaving it at the cross – knowing that God only required her to acknowledge the guilt, and let Him remove it, because He had placed all that guilt on Jesus, and knowing that He still loved her, and that He forgave her, and even had a wonderful plan for her life – knowing all these things filled Marcy’s heart with more warmth than the sunshine ever could. “Lord,” she whispered, “It’s just like springtime in my heart, like everything is new again!” With a happy smile she went inside.